Pass it on

Running is contagious, and I love seeing people get sick catch the fever. People who you would never think...all of a sudden asking to meet at the track for a little speed, or braving the dark and cold just to get a few miles in, or sprinting even though they "hate" running.

Then take these people and put them in a race. Once you get past the "why would I pay $20 to run this trail when I can run it for free" comments, something crazy sick happens as they find themselves pushing past old limits and feeling high and wasted and.....completely happy.

I'm running the 5 mile Blossom Day race this Saturday, and it's supposed to be rainy and and a little cold and perfect at the same time. I'm running with some of the newly infected, and can't wait to see them at the finish line. Of course, I've had the disease for several years now and so I'm looking for something beyond compeltely happy, and that would be a specific time...really I'm flexible, as long as it's under 40 min. Last year I came in at 41 something and...well, faster would make me smile.

243/1000

It’s all about the soil

I watched the plow turn up the dark rich earth that had been undisturbed during months of cold. I didn't really like being dragged out of my lazy routine to help in the fields, but once I was there...I couldn't imagine a better place to be. Being a part of working the land, my young mind didn't understand it then, but I was unable to deny how it worked something up inside myself. Even the smell of the freshly turned dirt was amazing, and I told Dad as much. He just chuckled, and then in seriousness corrected my error. "It's not dirt, it's soil. A living breathing organism that we depend on to produce our livelihood.”

Years later, and with my own patch of soil to work, I know the importance of those words. A seed sown in soil that is weak, worn out from hot sun and dry wind will never reach it’s potential. The soil must be worked, gently turned over, cleared of nutrient sucking weeds, and most importantly supplemented with life…life that comes from heat and decay.

Jesus may have been a carpenter’s son, but showed his experience as the Creator in the parable of the sower. Not only is it an applicable story, Jesus exemplified the sower by sharing only the parable with those who were not prepared, and to those were, he offered “the mystery of the kingdom of God”.

Soil needs to be constantly worked…and work it is…to accommodate the deep roots required to survive the long hot summer. Start first by recognizing your soil as a living breathing organism…the dependence of your livelihood.  Clear out the weeds…you know what they are. Add life; apply heat to the waste by trusting in Him and the light of His word. Gently turn things over, ponder in your heart to reach the deeper soil….

…and then plant the seed.

 

Strong

I'm strong...really I am, but I have an Achilles heel; I can be talked into just about anything.

My friends say, "Come run over this really steep mountian, it'll be fun!" and I go. They say, "Let's run in the early morning freezing wind," and I go. They say "Let's run one more 400 after we've finished our mile repeats...just for fun," and I go.

And now my legs are tired and my arches are sore, but I am happy...and strong.

"...then will I make weak things become strong..."

168/1000

Waking Up

I built something. 

It’s not perfect, but that was never the point. It wasn’t really cheap, but that wasn’t really the point either. So why did I shell out $200 for lumber and hardware only to neglect my house, kids and spouse for a whole week and only end up with an OK piece of furniture?

It was fun.

It seriously awoke this part of me that has been hibernating for years…neglected as I juggled babies, toddlers and relocating …and babies, toddlers and relocating. In fact, as I was bending down to hammer in an odd nail, I had a little flash back, of the last time I had attempted such a thing...last time when I bent down it was a strain to reach over my growing stomach and I only had a hand saw, and two year old Rose as a helper. The closet I built then wasn’t perfect either, but every time I looked at it I couldn’t help but smile.

This time all the kids got to help. Sunshine bravely held boards while I cut, Hup did a lot of the hammering and even showed Laser Boy some tricks of the trade. Rose helped paint exactly the way I asked her to, except for not leaving a little of the under color visible; she said it was just sloppy painting and she wouldn’t do it.

The hinges were a little tricky…I’ll know better next time, and the paint needs some touch up, but overall I’m giddy. And now, even two weeks after I finished my book shelf, I can’t walk by it (crooked doors and all) without a little smile.





Plans and loads of more ideas @ Knock Off Wood

Hands like the Ones that Raised Me

She stamped her foot hard in protest on the kitchen floor, but it was clear she had lost the battle...or had she?

She could never stop him when his mind was set, but that was never her role. Honor, cherish, care for and even submit; never to control. Her soft, quiet, sure ways smoothed the rough edge off his stubbornness. Even with this simple disagreement over her concern of his shaking, weathered hands lifting the 5 gallon bucket of honey to pour some into the kitchen container...for her, they were an example to their newly engaged granddaughter sitting there at the table...suppressing giggles.

Grandma & Grandpa Campbell

"Marriage, the coming together of two very different individuals.." can result in complimentary beauty or a blinding clash; most likely, a combination of both. Hubs and I, we're not the beauties we once were...so says my 10 year old...but I'm proud of who we are now; not what I had imagined 14 years ago, a little worse and a little better, but we own every minute of this joy work that carries us day to day. Here's three tips from the trenches.

1. Take care of yourself. Not in a pampering, ditch the kids kind of way, but in a praying, studying, asking for forgiveness kind of way. At my wedding shower, an "experience wife" warned me that if you can't change your husband in the first two weeks, it will never happen. I remember crying as I sat down on a wet toilet seat on day 15....that wasn't the last time I've had to clean myself up and move on, but alas, I have a few messy habits of my own. My Mother-in-law has a saying scrawled across a scratch paper hanging in her kitchen, it says, "Sweep your own step before your worry about your neighbor's." I believe Jesus had something to say along the same lines....something about beams and motes, and how best to remove both.

2. Work hard, stay soft. Things can run smooth and efficient when I tuck emotions neatly away inside, but that is not how it was meant to be. Live every moment.

3. It's not just about me. Happily ever after as two separate beings is not what I want. A long, lasting marriage will just be a consultation prize if we haven't grown together, evolved into one. Here's a note from my mom's kitchen: "The secret in a successful marriage is not in two people finding each other...it is in two people finding Christ together. He makes you one." There is more at stake than the here and now, "'til death do us part" will never do.

(my folks)

My wedding ring is a simple golden band, just like the symbol I have always seen my parents wear; yes, money was tight in the beginning, but that's not why. He even gave me an engagement diamond...but all I wanted were hands like the ones that raised me. Simple and sure, sometimes shaking, ready for...even desiring...the work that will bind for eternity.

What is important in your marriage? Wordfull Wednesday @Chocolateonmycranium

Lemonade Master Cleanse

As part of new ideas and renewed efforts to be healthy, I joined my husband in a cleanse. The idea being to clean out the insides in preparation for a new start.

After a week of only consuming lemons, maple syrup, cayenne pepper and a whole lot of water, I've learned a few things.

1. Clean is good. Just like having a clean house, things run more smoothly. I've always been a fairly healthy person, eating natural foods and lots of exercise, but I'm amazed at the difference. Every move feels less restricted, when I didn't even realize that it was. Breath flows smooth, muscles react quicker than expected and I have a keener sense of bodily placement.

2. The body is smart, listen to it. Taking variety and choice out of the equation, and just listening to the body's hunger signals was very interesting. I remember at one point, as I was sweeping the floor, I saw an old peanut shell hiding behind the couch. Instantly, I felt a reaction in my stomach and I wanted some munchies...anything salty and crunchy. This feeling was different from the usual messages sent when actual nourishment was needed. Learning to differentiate between sight/smell cravings and cravings for needed nutrients was very eye opening, and one I'm still working on.

3. Food nourishes more than the body. It felt good to give my body a rest from digestion and a chance to deep clean, but honestly, my body and soul were bored. Relying on food for entertainment and comfort isn't healthy for mind or body, but saying that food is the spice of life is no exaggeration. Giving into every compulsion is not what Heavenly Father ever intended for us, but I think there is a reason feasting is so often linked to our spiritual diet. Feasting does not equal gluttony, but a planned meal full of nourishment, variety and enjoyment. "...for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul."

4. Give thanks. Nothing like abstaining to increase gratitude for what you've always had. Faint aromas, married flavors, the ability to prepare....confessing His hand in all things; a blessing in itself.

Will I do it again? I look forward to it, but not for a year or so. Hubs says no way, so I guess I 'll be on my own...more to learn for sure.

Go to Work

Weeks into new year
new ideas
white chill swirling
white knuckles clinging to desire to change.

I want to do this
be that
inward self looking
inner focus on improving own vessel.

Efforts to clean inside
dark corners
lead to empty
frustrated dirt, swept back and forth.

Until eyes opening
we see
and share possessions
stepping over fear, out of focused flaws.

Loving like Him
Spirit led
service changes self
white knuckles warmed, stretching open to give.

"Forget yourself and go to work" ~Gorden B. Hinckley, advice from a father.

My Word

It seems hard to write down my goals in a numbered format, so I'm borrowing the idea of just using a word that captures the feeling of change I desire. It's taken a while, but I finally have my word for the new year. I got it from a talk given by Elder Bednar called "More Diligent and Concerned at Home". Like most good advice it comes in the form of a promise and a warning.

Promise first.

In my office is a beautiful painting of a wheat field. The painting is a vast collection of individual brushstrokes—none of which in isolation is very interesting or impressive. In fact, if you stand close to the canvas, all you can see is a mass of seemingly unrelated and unattractive streaks of yellow and gold and brown paint. However, as you gradually move away from the canvas, all of the individual brushstrokes combine together and produce a magnificent landscape of a wheat field. Many ordinary, individual brushstrokes work together to create a captivating and beautiful painting.

Each family prayer, each episode of family scripture study, and each family home evening is a brushstroke on the canvas of our souls. No one event may appear to be very impressive or memorable. But just as the yellow and gold and brown strokes of paint complement each other and produce an impressive masterpiece, so our consistency in doing seemingly small things can lead to significant spiritual results. “Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great” (D&C 64:33). Consistency is a key principle as we lay the foundation of a great work in our individual lives and as we become more diligent and concerned in our own homes.

Now the warning.

Being consistent in our homes is important for another reason. Many of the Savior’s harshest rebukes were directed to hypocrites. Jesus warned His disciples concerning the scribes and Pharisees: “Do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not” (Matthew 23:3). This strong admonition is sobering given the counsel to “express love—and show it,” to “bear testimony—and live it,” and to “be consistent.”

The hypocrisy in our lives is most readily discerned and causes the greatest destruction within our own homes. And children often are the most alert and sensitive when it comes to recognizing hypocrisy.

A public statement of love when the private actions of love are absent at home is hypocrisy—and weakens the foundation of a great work. Publicly declaring testimony when faithfulness and obedience are missing within our own homes is hypocrisy—and undermines the foundation of a great work. The commandment “Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20:16) applies most pointedly to the hypocrite in each of us. We need to be and become more consistent. “But be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).

I know that's a bit to take in, but it has been on my heart since I heard it last fall. I found comfort in his promise that little everyday actions do make a difference. And the warning is to strong to ignore. The thought that hypocrisy is not just a stagnant choice, but a destruction of good that has been built.

So my word for the new year is:

Consistent.

Consistent in my actions reflecting my beliefs. Consistent in who I and what I offer my husband and kids. Follow through on thoughts, impressions and responsibilities.

Nodding my head like Yeah!

To keep Laser Boy busy while I swept my piles and mopped dirty corners, I popped in a homemade DVD from my sister. He was completely captivated with the faces of family and playing his imaginary guitar to the rockin' music. I enjoyed it too, of course; it knocked the drudgery right out of my mop bucket, and we had a little party.

I love how clean my house is in January. New perspective in motion. I wonder how it ever could have been any other way....

I wonder how long I will wonder that.

At least I'm past the point of house work being a necessary goal to set, something that requires a yearly calendar change to get done. However, I do still need to check things off my list...it's far from habitual.

I dread the mundane, doing something all the time...because it needs to be done...

all the time.

But lately I have really come to enjoy my brain time while doing what will need to be done again tomorrow. Have you ever noticed how mopping a floor can take your mind to places you would have missed otherwise? Better yet, how it works it's way through problems that direct focus only blocks?

Almost as good as a run, but then my running still eludes the habitual.

Party on.

Passion or Drudgery

Is it possible to change something you do simply because you love it, into something you do for a purpose, without losing the enjoyment?

Thoughts on the New Year

My talk on Sunday....it's all about learning right? I learned that I have a lot to learn on this subject.

When I think of setting goals, I think of the many lists of good intentions that I’ve made over the years. Exercise, eating, housekeeping, scripture study, musical instruments, journaling, photo albums, quilting projects, scheduled time with those I love and many other great ideas have been on these lists. Some even detailed with how’s and when’s and cute little boxes to check off when accomplished. I often find these lists after months of abandonment. My heart sinks as I realize I’ve forgotten my goal list, and then jumps with joy as I realize many of the things on the list have been achieved. Those that lie uncompleted on paper and in my life usually lack one of two things…desire or discipline.

A goal without desire and discipline is just a wishful thought. Our desires should be aligned with the Lord’s, and disciplined by His word.

I don’t think it is by chance that the holiday season is set up the way it is. Beginning with Thanksgiving, and the focus on gratitude, not just gratitude for the accomplished and obvious beauty, but gratitude in all things; gratitude in the journey, in the learning, the humility; the understanding that through gratitude all experiences can bring us closer to Christ.

With this renewed awareness, we are ready to celebrate the ultimate gift of the Father, the birth and life of our Savior; the giver of all we have and the completer of all that we lack.

With these things in our hearts and minds, we approach the New Year, and it is our turn to give a gift….the only gift that is ours to give, to submit our hearts, our desires, our will to the Father. When this is our true desire, we are well on our way to accomplishing any goal that aligns with His.

So what is a good goal, a good gift? Anything that will bring us closer to the Savior is worthy of our time. In January Ensign President Uchtdorf quotes Harold B. Lee,

“Testimony isn’t something that you have today and you keep always. Testimony is either going to grow and grow to the brightness of certainty, or it is going to diminish to nothingness, depending upon what we do about it. I say, the testimony that we recapture day by day is the thing that saves us from the pitfalls of the adversary”

Worthy goals are those that strengthen our testimony. They are not singular events, but character changing events, thus affecting several different aspects of our lives.

Some goals require cutting out the sinful and replacing it with that which glorifies. Elder Neil A. Maxwell, in a talk entitled “According to the desires of our Hearts” said this:

"… when people are described as “having lost their desire for sin,” it is they, and they only, who deliberately decided to lose those wrong desires by being willing to “give away all [their] sins” in order to know God (Alma 22:18). Even a spark of desire can begin change.."

A goal is not just something to move us from one place to the next, but a mode of change; this requires work, work that should be based on gospel truth. Elder Maxwell continues with this:

".. educating and training our desires clearly requires understanding the truths of the gospel, yet even more is involved. President Brigham Young confirmed, saying, “It is evident that many who understand the truth do not govern themselves by it; consequently, no matter how true and beautiful truth is, you have to take the passions of the people and mould them to the law of God” (in Journal of Discourses, 7:55)."

As a few of you may know, I enjoy running. Most runners I know are a very driven, goal setting and goal achieving bunch. But that’s not why I run. I run because I’m happy, or stressed, need a break, or just can’t contain myself any longer. I can smell a good run in the air, or see it in the shadows across the road. I crave the empowering runners high and desire the clarity of mind that results. As much as I enjoy running, I am in no condition to run a marathon, right now. But because of my desire, it would be a simple step to add habitual training…..perhaps even writing something down on paper with cute little boxes to check off, and it would be very possible.

Elder Maxwell continues quoting Brigham Young with this:

“Do you think that people will obey the truth because it is true, unless they love it? No, they will not” (in Journal of Discourses, 7:55). Thus knowing gospel truths and doctrines is profoundly important, but we must also come to love them. When we love them, they will move us and help our desires and outward works to become more holy”.

How much do you love your Savior and the eternal truths he has taught? Do you crave his Word more than an extra hour of sleep in the morning? Do you desire his presence more than relaxing in front of the TV? Do you love his truth enough to open your heart and share it with those around you? What if you don’t, is there still hope?

Start with what you know, with what you love, or even what you desire to love. Make a place for it in your life, however small; it may require the removal of habits not in line with your new direction. Write it down. There is power in writing things down in a place we will see often. Writing down our goals helps to strengthen our commitment and remind us of thoughts and impressions we once had. I’m pretty sure the goals that I have made and not achieved out number the ones I have successfully completed, but not one has been a wasted effort. Simply recognizing the need and having the desire to do better begin the change desired.
Elder Maxwell continues:

“Each assertion of a righteous desire, each act of service, and each act of worship, however small and incremental, adds to our spiritual momentum. Like Newton’s Second Law, there is a transmitting of acceleration as well as a contagiousness associated with even the small acts of goodness.”

Then the work begins. Just like good study habits, it is a good idea to have a set time or place to work on your goal. At first it may seem like you are constantly white knuckled with teeth clenched, but since this is a goal based on righteous desires, you can also depend on your Savior for added strength, even completing what you cannot. Keep in mind that it is not just the end result that we desire, but an actual change in our character. This type of discipline is more than just the ability to get things done; it is the cultivated ability to get the right thing done at the right time.Elder D. Todd Christofferson calls this type of discipline, “moral discipline” in the last General Conference he made this connection:

By “moral discipline,” I mean self-discipline based on moral standards. Moral discipline is the consistent exercise of agency to choose the right because it is right, even when it is hard. It rejects the self-absorbed life in favor of developing character worthy of respect and true greatness through Christ like service (see Mark 10:42–45). The root of the word discipline is shared by the word disciple, suggesting to the mind the fact that conformity to the example and teachings of Jesus Christ is the ideal discipline that, coupled with His grace, forms a virtuous and morally excellent person.~ D. Todd Christofferson, “Moral Discipline,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 105–8

A common New Years resolution has to do with food consumption. What we will eat or what we will abstain from. In the beginning, it may be hard to envision a life without the sweet, or salty, or caffeinated succulence that we have long depended on, but after a while of what may seem extreme measures of abstinence, we come to notice that the craving is not so strong, we have learned to enjoy other flavors, and even, if we dare, to sample our previous addiction, we find it too strong, or no longer what our body desires. We are changed.

And they all cried with one voice, saying: Yea, we believe all the words which thou hast spoken unto us; and also, we know of their surety and truth, because of the Spirit of the Lord Omnipotent, which has wrought a mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do bevel, but to do good continually. Mosiah 5:2

Such a change may seem distant and unattainable, such as the command “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5:48) But, the creation of the earth was not done in one day, and the creation of the soul we desire can only be done in a lifetime. Pres. Uchtdorf offers this encouragement.

“If ever you are tempted to become discouraged or to lose faith, ….Hold on a little longer. You can do this! …. The Lord has blessed you with a testimony of the truth. You have felt His influence and witnessed His power. And if you continue to seek Him, He will continue to grant you sacred experiences. With these and other spiritual gifts, you will be able not only to change you own life for the better but also to bless your homes, wards or branches, communities, cities, states, and nations with your goodness. It may be hard to see that a times, but hold on a little longer, for “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him”

Cleaning up, scraping out, replacing and trying again; consistently purifying our efforts through His atoning sacrifice, we will become all we truly desire.

Sister Sweat

I feel like I've been talking a lot about running lately. Maybe it's the time of year; the time of year when running is in the air....I can smell it. Running is a blessing, even a talent, but mostly a gift. A gift I depend on. So it's not with ease that I give up my morning run....my communion....for a jog.

I wait in the dark, van still running, tying my running shoes and singing to forget I'm scared. Soon anther car pulls into the parking lot, chasing away fear and by the time I'm out and locking my door, we're all here. This isn't the only time I see these ladies, my sisters; we sing together at church and they teach my kids. Sometimes we gather in mixed company with loud spouses and too much food.

Not this morning.

Kids and husbands left in weekend slumber, we sneak out for exercise....so we say. All different, sisters always are, but we meet together with pony tails and breath mints once a week to sweat. I'm the one who questions, with the hole worn sweats, and who drives in from the sticks.

Blood warms as we talk of whatever..... and everything. Worries and funnies that are dressed up, pinned back, for church tumble out easily, flapping in the breeze as we work our way down the river. Strange, that as we move side by side down a dark path, it's so natural to run exposed. Celebrations of years of school finally done and marathons run. Lost babes and stolen innocence, growing kids and amazing balance...or not so much. Sisterhood offerings, embraced and strengthened.

Not all is spoken, we share a similar, familiar path, and this binds too. In college, my running sisters, twice daily training warriors, were so close our cycles lined up; hormones emanating through our sweat. Yet this weekly gathering, this sister communion, is tighter; based on more than just a desire for speed, we share a desire to emanate His love....training warriors.

The sky is a little lighter as we stretch and cool. Plans are made for next week and we part, visions clearer. This sister gathering, all it should be, is a favorite gift. How do you gather with your sisters?

...and so it begins, or continues...

Talk about turning over a new leaf...or many old and decaying leaves. Yes, spring is still months away but I feel the fever coming on strong.

Last spring I started a compost pile with the hope of planting my garden in soil instead of rocks. Slowly at first, it grew to a pile about two feet high. My hope still strong, I picked up some old wood pallets and talked my hubby into putting them together into some bins....and the pile continued to grow.

I knew if it was all to be usable by planting time it needed a little disturbance...mixing, chopping, adding air....

....as it is with all my new beginnings, I have strong hopes for success or at least progression, and so I keep turning them over for a new prospective. Mixing in new ideas and encouragements, chopping the bulky habits, and adding the air of experience and insight.

I have big hopes for spring and the muck merging into flourishing fruits.

New Year's Indulgence

There is a reason Thanksgiving comes first in a season of celebration. The opportunity to look around with wide eyes and be amazed at all our blessings; even discovering love where before had only been pain. With eyes lifted, acknowledging the fount of every blessing, we are prepared to fully celebrate the the Father's gift of his son; the birth of our Savior. Like the magi, we spend the season coming to Christ. Instead of offering gold and fragrance, we give up our sins to know Him more completely, setting the stage for a New Year striving to become more like Him.

For myself the struggle to be like Him begins with loving like Him. During Thanksgiving I wrote this in my journal:

"I am thankful for all things. For every moment and every breath. Now I will show my gratitude by being present in every moment. Look into their eyes, hear what they need, share their joy and pain, and be so happy to be the one they chose as their mother."

This may be a little selfish, as little effort pays big dividends, but I'll be the first to admit my tendency to get caught up in the goal of getting things done; with the best of intentions and missing too much of the important.

To flip the coin, I want to strengthen my resolve to reach those in my life who seem unreachable. To not be hurt when I am blocked out again. To celebrate every crack of light....every word, touch and glance that is real.

To give structure and even hope to my goals, I want to be more consistent in searching His word. Not just a set time or place, but to completely indulge in whatever time or place I am in.