Monday, March 15, 2010

Can you hear me now?

I haven't seen my sister in a long time and I miss her. I don't know if I can remember what it was like just to pick up the phone and call her. But sometimes, she comes and whispers something in my ear or even hangs out for a while. Sometimes I'm too busy to even realize she was here until I think back and hear her laughter and encouraging spunk mingled throughout my ordinary day; as real as the laundry, and I gratefully fold and tuck those memories away with the others.

I'm different now. I suppose loss changes anyone, you see things differently, appreciate things you never noticed, and cherish more what is really important.

But it's more than that.

I'm a different person without her here. Bad or good...probably a little of both, but definitely different. I see more of myself, I'm more responsible for my decisions and more accepting of my shortcomings. I feel more united with all kinds of people and more confident on my own.

She stopped by last week and stuck around a while, reminding me of funny songs to teach my kids, helped me do a spring cleaning on my list of priorities, and celebrated new found grit.

I'll always miss her...she left an un-fillable hole. She made me a better person when she was here and when she left. In some ways I like this form of communication better. Simple and uncluttered. Better than any phone plan available.


  1. There have been so many times I wish I could catch her online to chat or just call her. I didn't realize how often we did that until she was gone. She was a special woman, and I'm just grateful God let her be in our family for as long as we had her.

  2. I just have one sister (three brothers) and she is very important to me. Sorry to hear of your loss. Sweet words to read in her honor!

  3. she took some time to drop by today - I had to run 17 miles & she came frustration was that I couldn't chat about both of our earthly daily life frustrations...then, as an extra gift to make me smile I passed a pasture full of goats with 3 little girls out trying to catch & ride them - I felt a little extra spring in my step, three little girls - LOVIN LIFE! SMILES!


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