The Work of Affection

"I love you Becky"

"I love you Esther"

"I love you Becky"

"I love you Esther"

We spoke the words back and forth as we stood face to face; first, through clenched teeth, then shortly, through suppressed giggles. Mom, pretending not to enjoy this genius discipline strategy, watched knowingly from across the room....suppressing her own laughter. She knew what her daughters really felt, even though vocal expression of such feelings was forced punishment.

Hugs and I love yous weren't real common growing up. A punch on the arm from one of my siblings was one of the more popular displays of affection and was gladly returned, first chance.

Since those early days, I have grown to appreciate softer expressions of affection. I have learned of the power of a hug to communicate what can't be spoken, how good it feels to be comfortable enough to say I love you, and the connection that comes from looking in some one's eyes as they speak. These forms of affection are tried and true but far from all encompassing.

I was taught from an early age, mostly by example, what it meant to be family. We played together and prayed together. We talked and teased. We cried and wondered. We fought and forgave. I knew my dad loved me because he never let me down. He was solid and sure. I knew my mom loved me because even at a young age I could see many of the sacrifices she made for me....daily. The words were not often said, but I never felt any doubt.

If affection is sincere it tends to work it's way into whatever you do. Today, with my own little family, I feel it in my little one's arms as they cling around my neck and the slobbery kisses blown on my cheek. I show it when I listen and talk and wonder with them. We share it as we comfort and cry and laugh together. Whether it be in the form of tender vocal sentiment, or a tender spot on the arm, affection is shown by a desire to be together, to work to stay together, and a knowledge that this is only the beginning.

Read more affectionate stories at Chocolate on My Cranium.